First Ever Big Tuna of the Week

This is an award that I’ll try to hand out each and every week. To be considered for this award the recipient will have had to display unquestioned stupidity, ridiculous and obnoxious behaviour and a general aura of redonkulousness.  The winner of this award will be presented with a can of tuna from my collection that sits in my nuclear protected safe bunker below my home.  It is my hope that one day this award will be as prestigious as a participant ribbon received during field day or perhaps a figure skating badge for completing a level.

 The first ever winner of the Big Tuna award is none other than myself.  I attended a wedding this past Saturday and I was a complete write off.  I was a drunken fool and an embarrassment to all short fat men everywhere. 

Since the wedding I have received a few reports via my Facebook account.  One of the messages I received was from my friend Duke’s Mom.  She wrote “Did you have a mouth full of marbles?……I didn’t understand a thing you said last night.”  Being fully aware of Facebook’s strict language laws I’m sure she had to rewrite her post several times before it was allowed to be published. 

I owe my wonderful wife a big thanks since she drove my drunken carcass home.  We were stopped by the RIDE program on the way home and the Police took pitty on her as they saw me sprawled across the backseat, they quickly realized that she didn’t have anything to drink and if she did she was in far better condition than I.