The title of this post might indicate that I’m a big fan of Gerardo of Rico Sauve-like fame.  I’m not going to indict myself either way on that subject but instead I’d like to take this  opportunity to wish my Dad (also known as Ricco) a very happy birthday.  

You’re a great guy Ricco and an even better Dad.  I hope you have a great day and we look forward to spending sometime with you tomorrow. 

In honour of your birthday I’ll let you tell me everything that is wrong with the Toronto Maple Leafs and I won’t call you a closeted Leaf fan in the processs.  (Just joking…I probably still call you that.) 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

The season is barely 20 games in and already the Toronto Raptors schedule has become irrelevant.  This is a squad that is “building” according to general manager Bryan Colangelo.  His analysis of this “building” squad doesn’t really matter to me that much.  In the NBA the formula for winning is quite simple.  Star players drive your team and if you don’t have the horses you aren’t going to win many races.

The current plight of the Raptors isn’t necessarily what I wanted to bring to light.  There’s some 40 odd games to go and a whole offseason to hash out their problems.  The real reason I’m posting tonight is that the Raptors best player Andrea Bargnani returns to the lineup (the fact that he’s their best player speaks volumes of their current status in the NBA but I digress) after being out of the lineup with a calf injury.  In a stat driven league like the NBA (where someone on each team usually averages close to 20 points a game) Andrea Bargnani is having seemingly an ALL-STAR season.  

To aid his chances the fine fellas at the THE BASKETBALL JONES have produced an all-star anthem for the Italian big man.

Today I brought my oldest son (the Association) for his visit to the CN tower in Toronto, ON.  It’s been a long month for the youngster and the First Lady and I thought that this would be a good man-date for the two of us to partake in. (It didn’t hurt that today was teacher appreciation day and the Association and I were comped at the door either)

For the most part the two of us thoroughly enjoyed our time at the tower.  However their was a few antsy moments when we came across the glass floor.  I have to admit that I myself am not a huge fan of heights.  I’ve always fancied the notion that gravity isn’t my biggest ally.  So I generally don’t venture too high up the pole.  It would appear that my young offspring has been wired genetically to match the wussyness (much like any sports analyst I’m in the business of making up words) of his old man.  He wasn’t that big of a fan of this see through floor either.   

Here’s the following exchange between the Association, the CN Tower tour guide and by way of insult – me.

CN TOWER TOUR GUIDE: “Don’t worry folks, the glass floor can support 200 hippos and it won’t break.”

THE ASSOCIATION: “You better not go out there Daddy, the floor will break.”

It solid comedic timing by my young son.   I couldn’t have been more proud.  Well done son, well done.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE………………………….. 

Finishing in third spot is none other than STRAIGHT FROM THE ARSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A third place finish for the little blog that shouldn’t?  Not too shabby for someone who can barely use the English language.   To tell you the truth I was just happy to be nominated (no lie) and my only motivation was to finish a step up from the bottom.  So mission accomplished. 

It would appear that I didn’t have enough momentum to surpass Rod Pedersen (voice of the Saskatchewan Rough Riders and the Fan 590′s World Junior Championships) and I was narrowly defeated by a fella named RotoRob.   So congrats to both of them.  I’ve clicked on their blogs a few times over this past month and it’s quite obvious that they are much more talented than I. 

I imagine some of you are in disbelief and might require a Dubbin like inquiry to digest these results.  If that’s the case  Here’s a full listing of the results. 

Thanks again to all 48 of you that took the time to vote for me.  I have a whole year to drum up some more interest and secure the 4 votes that I might need to overtake RotoRob. 

Thanks again. Cheers to Saturday!!!!

In all seriousness I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all 48 of you that voted for me in this final round.

This is it folks.  The last night of voting for the Canadian Blog Awards is finally here.  I have no doubt all 9 of my loyal readers are about ready to done with all of this shameless self promotion that I have been trumpeting over the last little while.  Somehow I was able to dupe enough family members to vote in the prelims to get me through to the final round of voting.  It would now appear that I will need a little more help from my friends (in this case my cyber friends, many of whom I’ve never met.  I’m not asking too much am I?)

So here’s my last ditch attempt to funnel you to the voting site. 

1. Simply click on this link and you will be magically transported down the information highway to the Canadian Blog Awards home page. 
2. Once you are here please scroll down and find Best Sports Blog. 
3. Finally simply click on Straight From The Arse as your choice. 
4. Give yourself a big pat on the back.  You did a fantastic job.

Thanks again.  I’ll do my best to underwhelm you with my musings and bad grammar in very near future.

Something that you may not know about me is that I’m a huge tennis fan (when I say huge I mean the amount in which I like tennis not my overall size and girth).   As a youngster I would hone my skills in my hometown of Port Dover, Ontario at the local tennis courts.  It was there where I would play for hours upon hours with my pals firing baseline winner after baseline winner past a mentally fatigued opponent named Ludgie.

There were many epic battles on the well used courts of Dover with such luminaries by the protected names of Flask, The Turk, Jadin, Ludgie, The King and Stets, just to name a few (the real names of these gentlemen have been changed to protect them from random internet searches from headhunters and other government officials.  Also this allows me not to have frantic phone calls from a raving mad  Philipino demanding me to “take my name down….take my name down.” So nicknames it is from here on out. Cool?)

Although we played for the fun of it and to keep out of trouble, the competition between us all was intense and fierce.  I could probably bore you with many tales of the spells of poor sportsmanship and lack of tennis etiquette that each of us were guilty of displaying from time to time.  However I think I’ll let you the reader paint the picture for yourselves (isn’t that the ultimate sign of laziness by me.  You do the work for me, okay?)

To gain a glimpse into the type of anger we displayed I give you exhibit A:  Marcos Baghdatis.  He was rather upset after dropping two sets to Stanislas Wawrinka in his second round match at the Australian Open. So he did what any sane player would do in that situation–he busted four rackets. 

We would have no doubt broken as many in succession as Baghdatis, but unfortunately we couldn’t afford to break our one and only gamer.  So many times we substituted the broken racket to that more patented Jadin tennis racket helicopter.  This manoeuvre was a classic to be sure.  It was when you flung your racket with relative ease in a spinning fashion.  All the while the guilty party would be having a hissy fit of rage.  Unfortunately at this time I don’t have any video evidence.  So Baghdatis’ fit of rage will have to suffice.

Those were the days.  Good times I say, good times indeed my friends.

Many of you have already seen this video, but heck I’m always a tad slow on the uptake so I’ll post it anyway.   Here’s Alex Ovechkin of the Washington Capitals (The Duke’s favourite player) dropping some Russian rhymes on what I’m guessing is some popular Russian rappers track.

When he’s scoring 50 goals a season something like this makes him  seem colourful.  Now that he’s scoring goals at a pedestrian pace some of his critics will question his dedication to the game of hockey.  I suppose it goes with the territory of being in the public eye. 

Eventhough I can’t understand a thing he says in this video, I enjoy his thug like dancing and white cap turned to the side.  That being said Ovie’s song still will be ranked #2 on my list of all-time Russian song list.  The first place finisher is still Nikolai Volkov’s Russian national anthem.  A true classic if there ever was.

About  a month ago I shamelessly trumpeted some good news about myself (what else is new?)  The fine folks at Simon and Schuster Publishing sent me a book, Double Overtime by Stephen Cole, and they expected me to read it (a tall task in itself) and post a review on it.  Well I’m happy to report that I’ve cracked the book open and that I’ve read most of the book so far (thank god for pictures). 

So fear not Simon and Schuster, the review is on it’s way.  I promise.

I can’t lie.  The story of Los Angeles Kings winger Dustin Penner’s pancake back injury has made me chuckle on more than one occasion this week.  This has been a week where I had to go back to work after a 2 week hiatus and monitor the health of an ill Lil’Merger,  so a silly story like this has been a welcomed tonic to help keep my wits about myself.

As the case may be in this day and age, the story just won’t go away.  So Dustin Penner (aka #pennercakes for you twitter fans) decided to pen an exclusive letter for Mayor’s Manor, a LA Kings blog to address the incident/injury. Here is a copy and paste job of his letter.  I think that this letter is brilliant and laced with well-timed comedic genius. So for his efforts I must say “Well done #pennercakes, well done.” (Insert  your own Wiser’s Slow Clap)

So it seems as though I need to address Pancakegate for those in the sports media world, as well as those following #pennercakes on twitter, in light of the recent phenomenon I’ve created.

Right off the bat, I’d like to clarify a few things.For example, they were vegetarian pancakes. The injury happened as I was sitting down to eat, not mid-bite. And yes, I did finish them.There has been some feedback from the media as a whole regarding the lack of transparency involving injuries. So, I decided to be candid.

First and foremost, I think we can agree that having delicious pancakes that your wife made for breakfast, for a 1pm game, is not out of the norm. Secondly, “SOBS” (Sudden Onset Back Spasms) can occur at any moment, doing just about anything you can think of, and is a very serious issue.

Those who have experienced “SOBS,” know it is no laughing matter. I’m a little hurt, to tell you the truth, that the plight of my people isn’t being taken seriously.

Frankly, I don’t mind the attention and there’s no such thing as bad press, right? Apparently, I made it onto ESPN’s ‘Around the Horn’ and joined Kings’ ATH alumnus Dustin Brown (see water bottle incident) and have also became a twitter sensation overnight (with hashtag #pennercakes). So, I’m hoping to get an endorsement from IHOP or Denny’s.

The main thing here though is that we were able to bring attention to a serious issue like “SOBS” and hopefully find a treatment and unmask the mystery of it all.

In closing, for those who know how to laugh and find humor in life I hope they’ve enjoyed this as much as I did.

In an effort to end the entire experience on a high note, I’m partnering with MayorsManor to sponsor a ‘Pancakes with Penner’ breakfast. In the weeks to come we’ll be setting up a special raffle. Fans will be able to purchase tickets for $1.00 for a chance to have a pancake breakfast with me. All the money raised will go to charity…while we enjoy some delicious pancakes!

Be on the lookout for more information soon.

Thank you for your time,
Dustin Penner

Injuries in pro sports happen all the time. You can peruse the transactions in pretty much any newspaper in North American everyday and become familiar with each league’s injury report.

Dustin Penner of the Los Angeles Kings is currently out of the line-up with a bad back. Pretty standard injury one would think  for a hockey player who plays Penner’s style (or who is constantly in hot water over his playing weight).  However the true culprit that is responsible for his back injury could be his wife and her delicious pancakes.  I kid you not.

Here’s a quote from Dustin Penner himself.

I just leaned over to dip into some delicious pancakes that my wife made. It’s just like it (the pain) wraps around you and squeezes. … So it was disappointing. Hopefully it’s just an isolated incident, and not something that’s going to become chronic.”