Bill Walton vs. Will Ferrell - Classic material when Walton shouts out “LOOK AT THE TOUCH!!!!!!!!” Classic.  Just Classic. I’d save a bar stool for Walton any day.

Here’s a funny clip of D Wade getting grilled by Sir Charles Barkley.  Priceless.  Again the question must be asked, doesn’t D Wade have any friends or advisors?  Star Jones, cmon man.  Pick up a copy of Maxim and stroll down their list of the Hot 100.  Star Jones.  Googly Moogly.

It’s been a while since I last posted something.  I think I benched myself.  Is that possible?  Nonetheless it would appear that I have a little extra time this morning so here’s the Coles notes on what I’ve been up to recently.

1. Went to Boston with the First Lady of Sport to celebrate 1 whole year of marriage.  We went with our relationship caddies/spiritual advisers, Pat “How’s your view?” Sweeney and Sarah “Can I have some of yours?” Gaade.  The trip was fantastic.  Highlighted by catching a game at Fenway and weaseling our way into Game 7 between Atlanta and the Celtics.  There were many a highlight on this trip and I’ll hit you all with some of the stories in subsequent blog entries later on.
2. Getting ready for fatherhood.  The First Lady is a trooper and Baby Siemens is on it’s way.  That didn’t stop The First Lady from getting in a round of golf before me this season though.  By all reports Baby Siemens can mash the ball but apparently has the yipps on the greens.
3. I’ve been following an anemic Blue Jays offense.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  This team can’t hit.  I wonder if they will fire yet another hitting coach?  Former batting coach Mickey Brantley must be smiliing somewhere.
4. Getting many chuckles from the emails that I’ve received here at straightfromthearse.  I think I might even have to do a mailbag post. 
5. I’m gearing up for the last 6 weeks of school.  The kids are all hopped up on freezies and sunshine and their teacher is dreaming of long fairways and groomed greens. 
6. I’ve been slacking off on updating the blog.  I’ll do better I promise. 

The Buffalo Bills drafted Demetrius Bell in the 7th round of the NFL draft last weekend.  It turns out that Bell spent his entire childhood without any support from his father…..who turns out to be NBA future Hall of Famer Karl “The Mailman” Malone. But as bad as being a deadbeat dad makes Malone look, the following excerpt from Allen Wilson’s column in the Buffalo News makes him seem much, much worse.   http://www.buffalonews.com/sports/columns/story/334471.html

Bell is the son of Malone, but the Mailman had no role in Bell’s success except passing along athletic genes.

The two have had very little contact during Bell’s life. His mother, Gloria Bell, reportedly was only 13 years old and Malone a college sophomore at Louisiana Tech when Demetrius was born. Malone might have served jail time had her family asked the district attorney to file criminal charges.

And I thought it couldn’t get any worse for the Mailman after his appearance as a wrestler with the WCW a few years back.  I guess I was wrong.

I’ve been toying around the idea of having a guest blogger from time to time to infuse some new insight to this mediocre blog (It should also be noted that through some market research, 4 people thought it would be a good idea, thus I’ll roll with it). My wife Claire, aka The First Lady of Sport, wanted to weigh in on a debate we have been having in our household and since she’s 6 months pregnant, what she wants…she gets. Enjoy. 

A long, raging debate in the Arsenault household is how sport leagues format their playoffs, specifically reseeding after each round.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/ian_thomsen/04/25/weekly.countdown/index.html

The First Lady of Sport fully agrees with this article. Sure, you want to reward excellence, but the unbalanced schedule and conference rivalries Thomsen addresses outweigh the reseeding issue. (Yes, in this case, the West has had a tougher schedule due to tougher opponents, but as a fundamental rule, teams competing for playoff spots should be playing the same opponents, the same number of times).

Thomsen doesn’t even comment on the rivalries that are developed in the post-season within conferences. MJ having to go at the Pistons for three straight years before finally getting a crack at his first finals (and championship ring)…Raja vs. Kobe from a few years back (who can’t wait for the Suns-Lakers match-up)…Sens vs. Leafs…Yanks vs. BoSox…West Beverly vs. Beverly High…
 
I couldn’t agree more with the very last paragraph. Playoff brackets are neat, efficient and easy to follow. Reseeding in playoffs makes no sense in any sport and does not give the underdog a chance. Moving to a best-of-seven already gives the higher-seed an advantage. The first round is the reward of their regular season - after that it’s anybody’s game! 

If the Raptors bow out of the playoffs tonight vs. the Magic, it could mark the end of Sam Mitchell’s tenure here in the big smoke.  I have a funny feeling that he will be made out to be the fall guy for a lack lustre finish by the dinos.  I also have a gut feeling that he might be replaced by Mike D’Antoni of the Phoenix Suns, who will find himself in a similar predicament if the Suns can’t pull off a miracle and come back to beat the Spurs. 

I, for one, don’t think that Mitchell is the only problem with this squad.  I think that Raptors need to make some serious changes if they want to keep up in the East.  The first thing I would do, if I were Bryan Colangelo, is find a way to trade TJ Ford.  A perfect scenario would be to trade Ford to the Clippers for Corey Maggette.  This would afford the Raps to start Calderon and it would leave them with an athletic wing man in Maggette, something they sorely miss.  Regardless of tonight’s outcome, or in the event that they win this series, the Raptors need to make some changes to better their position in the NBA Eastern Conference.

Star Jones and Dwayne Wade?  Great moogly googly.  If this is true the Miami Heat should go all Denis Lemieux on him and trade him right %^$#$ now!  Goodness gracious doesn’t he have anyone on the payroll to stop such shenanigans?  Surely he has himself a Turtle or a Johnny Drama to rid himself of such embarrassment. 

I download podcasts from the Dan Patrick show each and everyday.  At times he uses a term “Passion Bucket”.  What does it mean?

1. A full-throated scream while dunking over a dude taller than you.
2. A barometer for a player’s excitement level (i.e. His passion bucket is full.)
3. A folder on your office computer where you keep your secret downloads.

Go to www.danpatrick.com to get DP’s definition.

Erin Andrews writes an article about the “do’s and don’ts” on how to get her attention.  Apparently putting her picture in my blog didn’t rate high enough on her list.  Dang it.  Back to drawing board. 

http://menshealth.com/groomingawards/erinandrews.html

Bill Simmons has cracked.  He’s being swept up with Bruins fever.  After years of pushing his love for the Bruins and the NHL aside, he has decided to write a column about his love of hockey. 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080421

After reading this piece it reminded me of my true passion for the sport of badminton.  At one time, I thought that badminton was the sport of kings.  That all changed after witnessing a slaughter of epic proportions.  One day when I have the strength, I’ll have to write a tribute post about the match that turned me off the sport.  Bryan Rympa vs. Lloyd Estrabillo in the PDCS gym, circa 1993. I’m welling up with tears just thinking about it.  Oh, the horror!