I became virtually obsolete in my own household this week (although depending on who you poll this idea of being obsolete could’ve happened years ago). Up until this week I was an integral part of young N8’s burgeoning “rolling over” career. I was his John Stockton (minus the tight shorty shorts because all shorts are tight and short on my stumps) and he was the “rolling over” version of Karl Malone. I was a master assist man in the same mold that Stockton would deliver the entry pass or complete the pick and roll with the Mailman.
Up until this week I often delivered the added momentum to help N8 complete his roll overs. Let me explain one of N8’s and I’s crucial sideline chalk plays. Little N8 Dogg would procure himself on the playmat and attempt with all of his might to roll to his side. He would then signal me with his eyes to lie down beside him. N8 would then garner up some strength and fling his left leg over his hip. I would then cut right and dart left to roll off a screen and deliver a back pick on left arm all the while making sure the right arm wasn’t pinned to avoid shoulder damage (I’m not sure Dr. James Andrews operates on 5 1/2 month old’s rotator cuff yet). Finally N8 would wiggle his ever growing cranium around until the roll over was complete.
I was really enjoying my roll as the assist man. But like many things in life all good things come to an end. The big boy (that would be N8 in this tale) decided he was too talented for a lesser light like his father. N8 decided to roll over on his own this week. In an interview with Baby Translator Weekly N8 had the following to say
Yeah my Dad and I had a good run while it lasted but N8 has to do what N8 has to do. N8 was just ready to go out and do it on my own. N8 gave it 110% and if this is going to be N8’s breakout season N8 had to cut the fat (literally) and get rid of my old man’s assistance. At this point N8 is just taking it one roll over at a time. Now N8’s ready to tackle N8’s next milestone, sitting up on N8’s own.
Judging by his use of the 3rd person it’s my best guess that my young son was listening intently while he was in The First Lady’s stomach to all the Terrell Owens press conferences that his Daddy was watching last year. Let that be a lesson to all of you who are expecting a child. No sports press conferences during the 9 months you are carrying your child. You would’ve thought someone would’ve written that in the What to Expect While You Expecting handbook?