It’s spring time my friends – a news flash, this is not. I’m not even the sharpest knife in the drawer but surely this slow witted lug can figure out the season has changed. The evidence is clear, there’s no denying it. The flowers are blooming, baseball is back and the Toronto Maple Leafs are first in the queue on the local golf links. There’s no doubt it is spring time.
The First Lady likes to mock those who try to (in her words) “Push The Season” with their fashion choices. For example, a season pusher would be a person who wears shorts and tank top when the mercury is barely gracing 10 degrees Celsius on a fancy dancy outdoor thermometer. So far this spring I have seen plenty of season pushers, but who made me the director of fashion in southern Ontario? Nobody, right? So who am I to judge and rain on other people’s parade?
So I’ll stay away with from the fashion “Season Pushers” but I will however get a top my soap box to point out a new gold standard in general season pushing. My neighbours have taken the First Lady’s definition/criteria for season pushing to a new all-time high. Let me first preface this by stating that I have no beef with my neighbours and I think they are just swell, however I would be causing myself internal bodily harm if I don’t point out their monumental moment of pushing a season.
Pool season, I am told, generally begins around the middle of May. Many Canadian families decide to open their pools and throw a bbq during the May 24th weekend. Seems like a right of passage for most pool owning families. (Editor’s Note: My crack research methods indicates this to be the case. In an effort to elevate to some credible standard of reporting I asked 3 families. Thus my data is solid enough for Fox News, which is credible enough for this mediocre blog)
My neighbours have eschewed the normal May 24th start to pool season and ramped it up by a month, with the opening of their pool this week. Now I get that a pool is quite an investment and that you’d probably want to get the most of out of it, but methinks that April 12th might be pushing it. If that isn’t season pushing I don’t know what is. April 12th was the first official day that I could hear the screaming of children in my neighbour’s pool. This early opening does not please me in the least. (In my old age I’m slowly morphing into a crudmudgeon, this much I know to be true)
Due to this early opening, The First Lady should have to apologize for all of the folks that she has chastised over the last few weeks due to their “inadequate” attire, because no matter their poor clothing choices, nothing could be more egregious than opening your pool this early. Can it?
A new gold standard for season pushing is here. Solid work neighbours, solid work.