Posts Tagged ‘Straight From The Arse’


Happy New Year my friends and loyal readers (all 14 of you thanks Mom).  As it has become a custom of this mediocre blog it’s that time of year where I should cobble together some thoughts on the past year and shed some light on some of my aspirations for the upcoming one as well.  In the past I’ve always managed to post this message on New Year’s eve, usually while enjoying a few adult libations in the hopes to make an excuse for my poor grammar and sentence structure.  However this year I’ve been relegated to day after post.  There’s really no excuse for the delay other than I’ve been a disaster at posting and blogging all year so at least I’m consistent, no?

2014 by all accounts was a fine year for the First Lady, the Association, the Merger and I.  As a family we had a blast with many activities throughout the year (trips to the hockey hall of fame, Hamilton Bulldogs game, various McMaster athletic events and Blue Mountain to name a few)  Individually the boys are growing up faster than either the First Lady and I are comfortable with (would love these little gaffers to stay little for ever).  Both the Association and the Merger are enamored with sports (something they come across naturally from their DNA make-up) whether it’s the Association racing down a loose puck playing hockey for the first time or the Merger flashing down signals as a catcher for the A’s in Rookie Ball, the young men are proving to be loving their early sporting experiences (this has been a joy to watch from the sidelines).

The First Lady as per usual has had a stellar year holding down many roles in and around our humble abode.  She’s been a wunderkind of sorts with her abilities to manage being around 3 gentlemen (I can call myself that right?) who all have a penchant for forgetting to use some common bathroom etiquette (namely the toilet seat).  There’s no question that the fellas and I appreciate all that she does and is.  WE LOVE YOU MUMMY!!

In this yearly diatribe it’s been my custom to present this little corner of the cyberspace with some resolutions of sorts that I try to intend to keep (really I do try, no lie).  First and foremost I need to be more active and eat a whole lot healthier.  There’s no ifs, ands or buts about this. Newsflash folks, I’m not getting any younger (or smaller) and I’m getting slower (tortoise like I believe).  So by hook or crook I hope that 2015 brings a more svelte straight from the arse your way.  Like it or not, the Association and the Merger are going to keep me active anyways, however i’d rather not be the panting and out of breath dad chasing them around.  Another thing I would like to do is do a better job updating this blog.  It’s quite possible that I had more guest blogs than blogs of my own. Getting to 500,000 visitors (or accidental visits as they might be) would be a great accomplishment for a someone with the limited skills that I present.

As for my the sports teams that I support I can’t remember a better time to be a Toronto sports fan. The Raptors are in the midst of being an Eastern conference contender.  The Blue Jays (minus thus far any bullpen or 2nd base upgrades) are looking like a powerful bunch with the acquisitions of Russell Martin and Josh Donaldson.   The Leafs, well they are the Leafs.  I expect a playoff push to be in the cards but again they are The Leafs, no cup is nothing new for this guy.

So there it is folks.  A sober rendition of my New Years post.  2015 here we go.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!

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Have you ever heard the old adage “some guys have all the luck”?  In relation to me and my blog this old adage is blatantly true.  I mean how else could one explain STRAIGHT FROM THE ARSE being awarded as Best Sports Blog for the second year in a row from the fine folks at the Canadian Blog Awards?

Canadian Blog Awards 2013

I humbly must thank all 8 of my loyal readers for their votes and those of you that simply grin at the sight of my many grammar errors. You all are very kind.  Thank you all very much.

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Canadian Blog Awards 2013

It’s time for some shameless self promotion my friends (for those who know you might be saying “when isn’t it?“). I’ve been nominated  for a Canadian Blog Award in the category of Best Sports Blog (although it probably should have been nominated in the Didn’t Your Teacher Teach You Any Grammar category) .

If this isn’t the first time you have stumbled on my little blog (thank goodness for wayward internet travellers) you will realize that a vote for me is a vote for a marginally talented hack.  So I urge you for all us marginally talented hacks (with the unique ability to cut and paste) be kind and click HERE where you will be transported down the information highway to the poll site.  Scroll down and find the best sports blog section and click STRAIGHT FROM THE ARSE.   For this my friends I thank you.

In all honesty my friends and accidental visitors (your votes count too)I’m truly honored to be nominated alongside with so many great and talented folks.   Thanks for the support and please stop by for a visit again.




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The CBC is a Canadian crown corporation that serves as the national public radio and television broadcaster.  With that model the CBC.ca would be the crown corporation’s home for web content (i’m making some loose word play make sense in my mind, working for you?)

A section within the CBC.ca website is that of Canada Writes. This section is hailed as “Canada’s home for original writing of all kinds, including the CBC Literary Prizes“.   I would assume that all of these entities (radio, television and web) are in fact funded by the Canadian tax payers.

With that (sound) logic, I would suspect that some tax paying lobbyist might want to get to the bottom of the CBC’s Canada Writes series for their most recent feature.   Perhaps not a good use of the fine tax payers money, non?

All kidding a side I would like to thank Jennifer Warrren and Emily Murphy of cbc.ca/canadawrites for taking the time to waste some time with me.  I hope your website doesn’t suffer from my mug being present on it.  Truth be told it’s a pretty cool experience to have my thoughts and mediocre musings be present on such a platform.


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This post might be a tad late and a dollar short but what the heck, MERRY CHRISTMAS my friends!!  I have lots to be thankful for as I live a very charmed life.  I have a wonderful family and fantastic friends and during this festive season I will be to be surrounded by them or more than one occasion  EDITORS NOTE: (I’m sure some of these folks will hope that it’ merely one occasion that is supervised  so my childish antics are held in check. Shameful, but true).

What would a Christmas post be without this fantastic family video.  Be well and Be Merry my friends.





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As a fella who has been known to lay a wager or two in his day I probably wouldn’t have bet on this.  Me being sober at that time of my yearly address on New Years eve.  Thanks to a sudden bout of the flu I’ve been couch surfing the better part of the last 2 days, thus I’ve been left with a diet of crackers, toast and water.  A far cry from the wonderful New Years spread that the First Lady and I would normally feast upon.

Other than this unplanned bout of sobriety (and influenza) this past year has been pretty good to me.  The First Lady continues to be the finest wife, mother and sports administrator that you will ever find.  Being married to me is not an easy task (especially after I won the Canadian Blog Award for Best Sports Blog) to say the least and yet the First Lady puts up with my antics on a daily basis. The way she juggles all of the hats she wears around our household is quite impressive. I hope she realizes how much the association, the merger and I truly appreciate everything she does for us.

The Association has had a banner year and he’s now on track to graduate Kindergarten in the summer of of 2014 (that’s if he doesn’t go skip the draft and go pro).  Not only has the Association excelled in the classroom but he’s also been quite proficient on the playing field as well.  This year the youngster played his first season in Soccer and he was an exciting player to watch to say the least.  In one particular match the Association scored 7 goals all the while his squad won 4-3.  The doogle (as he’s also is known) has been a fantastic big brother and role model for his little brother.  One of the finest things to see this calendar year was the relationship between him and his little brother flourish.  It’s truly wonderful to see.

The Merger continues to grow in many ways.  The little TT train that could is happy go lucky fella and is really coming into his own during his 3rd year.  He has become a talking machine (wonder where he got that from?) and he’s was named the best potty trainer ever at his daycare.  Although it must be said that after he was bestowed this title of best potty trainer he was found in the washroom with his underpants around his head shouting “I’M A PIRATE!”.   The little big man likes himself some winter sports and can be often seen playing hockey downstairs, upstairs or outside.  It must also be noted that he is becoming quite adept at tobogganing and a future career in the two-man bobsled isn’t out of the question.

As 2013 rolls around it’s seems to be the appropriate time to scribble down some resolutions of some kind.  As per usual I hope to take better care of myself physically.  This seems a constant for me and probably will always be.  So it will be important for me to remember the words of Jacob Riis.

When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before

I’ve also decided that I need to become a quieter individual this year.  Whether that means in voice, tone or simply my antics.  A softer and gentler Straight From The Arse can be expected.

As for the world of sports I’m truly hoping the teams that I support are on the upswing.  As I pound the keys on this keyboard the Toronto Maple Leafs remain undefeated (thank you NHL lockout).  On paper the Toronto Blue Jays have their best chance in years to make it back to the post season.  The Raptors are an improving outfit but I fear they will be forever a doomed squad in the NBA.  The Toronto FC are a complete mess and I’ll no doubt be griping about yet another horrible season at this time next year.

It’s at this point I’ll sign off  (at 9:15 pm sigh) a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.  All the best in 2013 my friends.

Drop the mic……

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From the files of the improbable Straight From The Arse has captured 1st place in the Canadian Blog Awards.  Amazingly the little blog that shouldn’t duped  39 percent of the voting public to secure the 2012 title of BEST SPORTS BLOG.  I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of those of you that took the time to vote for my little site of random musings.  The biggest thank you needs to go out to the First Lady who gifted me this site 5 years ago and puts up with my antics on a daily basis.

I feel like I should celebrate this momentous event with all of you.  So keep an eye out for a massive victory party at Chewy Wheeler’s palacial estate in the near future (just jokes Chew, thanks for your support too pal).

Thanks again for reading my stuff.  Come back and tell your friends.  Is it too early to print up the Repeat T-Shirts?


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