Oh how someone is looking down on me today. It’s opening day, I’m off work for Easter Monday and I’m about to get horizontal on the couch with The Association, The Merger and soon to be joining us will be The First Lady of Sports Administration (she would be the motivated one of this lunch bunch as she is currently out swimming).
The fellas are jacked and for the most part are dressed in their Toronto Blue Jays gear (The Merger has used his out clause and is exercising his right to stay in his pyjamas all day). It’s been a tough year for Toronto sports fans (a familiar refrain I know..) so this household is looking forward to seeing what the Blue Jays can bring forth this season.
The start of the MLB season has long been an exciting time for me. My birthday falls close to the start of the season each year and growing up I would often receive ducats to Opening Day of the season or the Blue Jays home opener. I have so many fantastic memories of my Grandmother and Mom breaking me loose from school early to in order to make the trek to Toronto to catch the game. Dollar hot dogs and bleacher seats at the old (and demolished) Exhibition Stadium were responsible for my baseball education. I feel fortunate to have sat out on the hard no back bench stadium seating of the Ex with the wind blowing my hat off just in time for a sea-gull to aim and take fire at my under-combed coif. (I’m almost tearing up thinking about it right now)
Happy New Year my friends and loyal readers (all 14 of you thanks Mom). As it has become a custom of this mediocre blog it’s that time of year where I should cobble together some thoughts on the past year and shed some light on some of my aspirations for the upcoming one as well. In the past I’ve always managed to post this message on New Year’s eve, usually while enjoying a few adult libations in the hopes to make an excuse for my poor grammar and sentence structure. However this year I’ve been relegated to day after post. There’s really no excuse for the delay other than I’ve been a disaster at posting and blogging all year so at least I’m consistent, no?
2014 by all accounts was a fine year for the First Lady, the Association, the Merger and I. As a family we had a blast with many activities throughout the year (trips to the hockey hall of fame, Hamilton Bulldogs game, various McMaster athletic events and Blue Mountain to name a few) Individually the boys are growing up faster than either the First Lady and I are comfortable with (would love these little gaffers to stay little for ever). Both the Association and the Merger are enamored with sports (something they come across naturally from their DNA make-up) whether it’s the Association racing down a loose puck playing hockey for the first time or the Merger flashing down signals as a catcher for the A’s in Rookie Ball, the young men are proving to be loving their early sporting experiences (this has been a joy to watch from the sidelines).
The First Lady as per usual has had a stellar year holding down many roles in and around our humble abode. She’s been a wunderkind of sorts with her abilities to manage being around 3 gentlemen (I can call myself that right?) who all have a penchant for forgetting to use some common bathroom etiquette (namely the toilet seat). There’s no question that the fellas and I appreciate all that she does and is. WE LOVE YOU MUMMY!!
In this yearly diatribe it’s been my custom to present this little corner of the cyberspace with some resolutions of sorts that I try to intend to keep (really I do try, no lie). First and foremost I need to be more active and eat a whole lot healthier. There’s no ifs, ands or buts about this. Newsflash folks, I’m not getting any younger (or smaller) and I’m getting slower (tortoise like I believe). So by hook or crook I hope that 2015 brings a more svelte straight from the arse your way. Like it or not, the Association and the Merger are going to keep me active anyways, however i’d rather not be the panting and out of breath dad chasing them around. Another thing I would like to do is do a better job updating this blog. It’s quite possible that I had more guest blogs than blogs of my own. Getting to 500,000 visitors (or accidental visits as they might be) would be a great accomplishment for a someone with the limited skills that I present.
As for my the sports teams that I support I can’t remember a better time to be a Toronto sports fan. The Raptors are in the midst of being an Eastern conference contender. The Blue Jays (minus thus far any bullpen or 2nd base upgrades) are looking like a powerful bunch with the acquisitions of Russell Martin and Josh Donaldson. The Leafs, well they are the Leafs. I expect a playoff push to be in the cards but again they are The Leafs, no cup is nothing new for this guy.
So there it is folks. A sober rendition of my New Years post. 2015 here we go.
At a time when I should be putting words together to form sentences (I am capable of doing this grammatically correct from time to time) about the World Cup I am instead racing to the computer this evening to bark about something totally non sports related instead.
Normally one would be left to think that I’m eager to brag about my one of my children. Unfortunately this post isn’t about the Association’s wonderful left footed strike on the pitch this past Saturday morning. Nor is this sudden burst to the computer for me to pipe up and tell you about the Merger’s monstrous clout in his blast ball game. Nope friends, this moment of shameless promotion is for dish soap. Yes you read this correctly, I said dish soap. (Somewhere I trust that I’m floating somewhere in the future trying to enter a Delorian in preparation to negate myself from posting this meaningless piece of info).
The First Lady and I are having races to the dirty dish sink due to the wonderful smell of the soft touch Palmolive Coconut butter dish soap. I know it’s unbelievable that I would race anywhere where food wasn’t offered but it’s true my friends. There has never been any animosity at our humble abode when it comes to washing dishes, but there is now a level of discord when one of us doesn’t get a chance to wash them (I understand the strangeness of this dish washing vortex…it is bizarre).
Do you yourself a favour friends and seek out this product the next time you are at the grocery store or wherever you might buy your dish washing materials.
Hockey fever has hit our humble abode. My young fellas are in love with the sport (tonight they were learning on their own the acronyms for each and every NHL team). They are smart enough to know that to play ice hockey, learning to skate will be quite beneficial.
They are both involved in skating lessons (in fact my wife is currently taking adult learn to skate lessons just to keep up to them). With their impressive thirst for hockey I’ve long promised The First Lady, the Association and the Merger to construct a backyard skating rink.
Unfortunately for them my skills on building (anything) let alone maintaining an ice rink are severely lacking. They aren’t just lacking my friends, these skills are down right non-existent. Like many things in my life I’ve over-promised and (most likely) under delivered on this one.
Now I hate disappointing my family so it would appear that I’m in the market for some help. Judging by the following pictorial of this majestic backyard rink in Quebec methinks that I should call Justin LaChappell, the creator of this fine ice pad.
As a fella who has been known to lay a wager or two in his day I probably wouldn’t have bet on this. Me being sober at that time of my yearly address on New Years eve. Thanks to a sudden bout of the flu I’ve been couch surfing the better part of the last 2 days, thus I’ve been left with a diet of crackers, toast and water. A far cry from the wonderful New Years spread that the First Lady and I would normally feast upon.
Other than this unplanned bout of sobriety (and influenza) this past year has been pretty good to me. The First Lady continues to be the finest wife, mother and sports administrator that you will ever find. Being married to me is not an easy task (especially after I won the Canadian Blog Award for Best Sports Blog) to say the least and yet the First Lady puts up with my antics on a daily basis. The way she juggles all of the hats she wears around our household is quite impressive. I hope she realizes how much the association, the merger and I truly appreciate everything she does for us.
The Association has had a banner year and he’s now on track to graduate Kindergarten in the summer of of 2014 (that’s if he doesn’t go skip the draft and go pro). Not only has the Association excelled in the classroom but he’s also been quite proficient on the playing field as well. This year the youngster played his first season in Soccer and he was an exciting player to watch to say the least. In one particular match the Association scored 7 goals all the while his squad won 4-3. The doogle (as he’s also is known) has been a fantastic big brother and role model for his little brother. One of the finest things to see this calendar year was the relationship between him and his little brother flourish. It’s truly wonderful to see.
The Merger continues to grow in many ways. The little TT train that could is happy go lucky fella and is really coming into his own during his 3rd year. He has become a talking machine (wonder where he got that from?) and he’s was named the best potty trainer ever at his daycare. Although it must be said that after he was bestowed this title of best potty trainer he was found in the washroom with his underpants around his head shouting “I’M A PIRATE!”. The little big man likes himself some winter sports and can be often seen playing hockey downstairs, upstairs or outside. It must also be noted that he is becoming quite adept at tobogganing and a future career in the two-man bobsled isn’t out of the question.
As 2013 rolls around it’s seems to be the appropriate time to scribble down some resolutions of some kind. As per usual I hope to take better care of myself physically. This seems a constant for me and probably will always be. So it will be important for me to remember the words of Jacob Riis.
When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before
I’ve also decided that I need to become a quieter individual this year. Whether that means in voice, tone or simply my antics. A softer and gentler Straight From The Arse can be expected.
As for the world of sports I’m truly hoping the teams that I support are on the upswing. As I pound the keys on this keyboard the Toronto Maple Leafs remain undefeated (thank you NHL lockout). On paper the Toronto Blue Jays have their best chance in years to make it back to the post season. The Raptors are an improving outfit but I fear they will be forever a doomed squad in the NBA. The Toronto FC are a complete mess and I’ll no doubt be griping about yet another horrible season at this time next year.
It’s at this point I’ll sign off (at 9:15 pm sigh) a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. All the best in 2013 my friends.
Straight From the Arse 